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lyrics

A waiter in the Quarter
walking home in his black and whites
A car pulled up beside him
They told him it’s your money or your life
So the waiter started running
They were much too fast
They chased him down
So he pulled out his corkscrew
As he was being taken to the ground
And the scuffle ensued
“Leave me alone, i didn’t do anything to you guys!”
The one who had him pinned
Was the one who got the corkscrew in his head
The other would-be robbers
They were stunned
They grabbed their friend
and they just fled
The waiter lay on the sidewalk
He’s clutching his wine key in his hand
But he knew he sunk it deep
The guy was twitching
Like an epileptic man
I said it don’t come easy
No it don’t come that easy
It don’t come easy
He ain’t no mark
So don’t you start
It’s not that easy
The waiter found his feet
And he found that his tips were still in his pocket
He found the corner bar
He had a cut it was bleeding bad
He had to stop it
So he took a bar napkin
And he dipped it in a triple shot of scotch
He rubbed it on that cut,
You know It burned pretty bad
but the bleeding stopped
I said it don’t come that easy
No It don’t come easy
It don’t come easy
He ain’t no mark
So don’t you start
It’s not that easy
The waiter got to thinking maybe
He should call the cops
and report the crime
They could check the hospital
Maybe they’d find and injury
Of the corkscrew kind
But it’s unlikely
His accomplices
would have taken him in for help
They probably took him to
That river side
Said “Adios our good friend
Fare thee well
And the river took the body
Mighty miss she took the body
Yeah the river took the body
All the way to the Gulf
You know, a fisherman found it
Was swollen up like a tick
I guess the guy got stiffed
So watch who jump
Best watch out who you rob
It might not be that easy
Not such a simple job
Watch who you jump
You’ll get a bit more than you plan
You mess around with a hard working waiter
With a wine key in his hand
I said it don’t come easy
No it don’t come that easy
It don’t come easy
He ain’t no mark
So don’t you start
It’s not that easy

credits

from Shooting At The Sun With A Water Gun, released November 15, 2001

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